Monied women poke men’s insecurities

Fear and loathing in the eyes of other men

I spent a huge chunk of my childhood at my grandparent’s house as the only girl among my six boy cousins. My interactions with them taught me how males behave around each other; there was a sense of solidarity for sure, but it was paired with lots of competition. Not only did one have to be physically stronger but you also had to be wittier, sneakier, have more pocket money and be more charming than the rest. Based on this observation and on how the world values money, I can only imagine the strain on the self-esteem of some men who find themselves in relationships with women who have deeper pockets than they do. I have no idea what it means to be a man, but apparently it includes having control over a woman. A financially fit woman is therefore seen as a menace to tame because control and power are maintained through financial muscle.

Acquiring both love and money for financially secure women is getting harder and harder Photo: Incase/Flickr

To mask their own insecurities and avoid being the butt of their friend’s jokes, feeble men freely squander their women’s wealth out of spite. Such men are the loudest voices in the chorus of their women’s detractors. They feign authority in the home and become abusive by either being aggressive or acting like martyrs in the name of love. What is the aim of their manipulation? They want to inspire guilt so that their women feel indebted to them. Perhaps this way of thinking is the reason that girl-children were kept from attending school in the old days (a phenomenon that still exists in some parts of the world), or that women were not allowed to vote and have jobs, lest they become ambitious and explore their own mental strength.

What is the bottom line?

The fact is that men still earn considerably more than women do in Africa and throughout the world. That said, it was inevitable that women would begin earning higher incomes as more corporations diversify and jobs that used to be exclusively for men are made available to women too. More women are driven to get qualifications that challenge them and promise better opportunities for them in the future. They are also willing to give their careers priority over domestic responsibilities. What both men and women have to come to terms with is the fact that women are just as capable of being the core breadwinner these days. This adjustment comes with its own set of trials for both parties and requires that they be supportive, respectful and patient with each other.