The real American Taliban speaks

My friend, you sound educated and not like them black folk out there, hands outstretched for ObamaCare and food stamps… for the free stuff, as my friend Jeb Bush calls it. So let me do you a solid and lay it all out for you once and for all.

I mean, look man, it’s simple – White people, we own this country. We created the greatest nation on earth. A lot of white blood and sweat in the soil. What you make is yours – that should go without saying. Of course the slaves helped a little, but we did them a whole lot of good. Only they do not know what’s good for them.

Why must you play the race card? When we say we want to take our country back – I am not being racist. You do the math; white people are about to be overrun by brown, yellow and black people. By the year 2050, we shall be a small minority riding in the back of the fucking bus.

Opposition to US immigration policies is widespread in many southern states. Photograph Jerry Burch/Demotix/ Corbis

You see fear?  Hell no – I just want to save my own people. And how the fuck is that racist? Open your eyes – look at the White House; we have a black Muslim president, what next – a Mexican president?  Is that what you people want? We just have to take our country back and make America great again.

Hell yeah, I want a big old wall – keep the Mexicans in Mexico. When we let the good ones in, all we ask is to speak American for god’s sake. Speak English. Now you walk down the street and all you are hearing is this gibberish – like they are talking about you behind your back. Come on!

Photo: Champion News Net

My children bilingual? No way Jose. Diversity, political correctness and multicultural bullshit are destroying the fabric of our great nation. What next? You want my children to speak African?

Yes, I always say a good Christian has to be generous: if you have a lot of something, it’s okay to share. But look, white people are suffering too. I am middle class but I make the minimum wage. I hate it, but sometimes I have to get a little help from the government just to get by. But man, look at Trump! Now that is a real American. Rich and never forgets the little people. He will make America great again.

No, I do not think we should go into other people’s countries. But you know what? Sometimes you have to help some people help themselves. Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan, Syria – all these places would be much worse off if we had not done a little something to help. Its like this: helping them is also helping ourselves – we don’t want them coming here. You want to know what the real problem is?

We Americans have just been too generous with everything. It is time we became a bit selfish, you know, protect our own. That is why we love guns – to protect our own.  It is as Thomas Jefferson said, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”

Photo: The Gospel Coalition

Mass shootings? Simple. Arm them kindergarten teachers, cashiers, doctors  – everyone should have a gun.  Hell, I take my kids to the shooting range right after church. I am not joking. If you have an assault rifle and I have one too, it is like nuclear power – a mutual deterrence thing.

I do not think that black boy, Tyrone or Trayvon, and the rest of them black folk deserved to die. Hopefully some good will come out of it all. It is like that juror said; Zimmerman learnt his lesson and will not do it again.  There is some good in that. But someone has to stand up for our people.

I do not mind blacks. As long as they keep to themselves, I am okay with that – you know, I believe in live and let live, you look after yours and I look after mine.

Apartheid? Separate but equal?  You think that is what I am saying? That is all history. Hell, I was not even born then.  Look everywhere, white folk under assault. Yeah, I know all about your South Africa. White folk living in gated communities afraid of leaving their homes.

You are asking me if truth and reconciliation can work in the United States of America? What the fuck, are you crazy? We are Americans. A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N-S. Why don’t you truth and reconcile this – give us back our country.

Equal pay for men and women? Now you are just plain crazy!

* Mukoma Wa Ngugi is the author of Mrs. Shaw, Nairobi Heat, Black Star Nairobi and is an Assistant Professor of English at Cornell University.