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Love thy vajay-jay

Knowing your body and thinking of your vagina beyond its sexual and reproductive function are the first steps towards pride and dignity, says Lineo Segoete



Do we as women ever think about our vaginas beyond their sexual and reproductive function? Do we love our vaginas the way they deserve to be loved? Do we pamper them, listen to them, exercise them and pride ourselves in being their custodians? Or do we simply make do because they are burdens we are bound to for the entirety of our lives? How many of us think about our lady parts and are filled with contentment because we are feeling ourselves and carry no shame in it?

We are programmed to believe that our sexuality is some secret thing because it is sacred. That is false. Our vaginas and sexuality are indeed sacred, and that is the very reason that we should embrace, explore and be frank and unapologetic about those aspects of ourselves.
If you do not know your body then your triune self is affected

Primary to getting to know your ‘cake’ is familiarising yourself with the necessary measures to ensure that it is healthy and happy. There are ample myths about the ‘vaj’ that are simply false and actually harmful. There is also the persistent notion that we should only pay extra attention to our nether areas when we have a mate to participate in coitus with. It is to our advantage that times are changing and that we live in the age where women are growing more vocal and unambiguous. We are taking ownership of our lives, views and thinking and so there should be no limitations to our sexuality.



Do not put things down there

Not douching bags (this should be obvious by now), not vegetables, not dirty fingers and certainly not dirty penises. We may think we are helping and doing what’s best for our most sensitive area but actually the less we do to it, the better. We worry so much about how our privates smell or taste, their shape, etc that we wind up doing not-quite-kosher things to them. Fair enough, all of these things are a priority, but we need to keep in mind that our lady parts are magical In that they self-clean. That means  anything that goes up there is bound to be recalled by gravity. And if we lose our pH balance, our lady-parts make sure to notify us – that‘s what the itch is about.   

How many of us think about our lady parts and are filled with contentment? (Photo: Charles Peebles/ Flickr)

How many of us think about our lady parts and are filled with contentment? (Photo: Charles Peebles/ Flickr)

Before we start fiddling with things we should not be, we should get to know those magnificent entities between our legs. We must take the time to know what they look like, their points of sensitivity, their likes and dislikes and their unique features. We tease men about doing measuring contests and masturbating, but many of us have never pointed a mirror down there, let alone touched or identified what is what.

It also does not help that there are misleading social media campaigns and religious institutions that paint sexual knowledge as sinful and ‘slutty’. To each his own, but at the end of the day, if you do not know your body, then your triune self is affected and, after all, spirituality is about balance between the mind, body and soul.


Many ways to skin a cat


The only thing that can and does manage to pit us against our holy canals is menstrual cramps. Although they vary in intensity from one individual to the next, they are possibly the most agitating aspect of womanhood. While some women are comfortable with relying on pharmaceutical medicines to abate period cramps, there are those who prefer natural remedies. Those who can and have the time meditate, sleep and wait out the pain.
There is no shame in any aspect of ourselves, least of all our anatomy

News broke in January 2016 that marijuana suppository capsules could be purchased in selected American states to ward off this torture. There are other remedies for not-so-shy women who are not grossed out by their bodies: Self-induced orgasm, or masturbation if you prefer, may still be taboo but it comes highly recommended by medical practitioners who deal with women’s health. Endorphins and the hormone prolactin, which is linked to sleep, are released during an orgasm, leading to a decrease in pain sensitivity, increased blood flow and some well-deserved rest.

Yoni steaming is great for the relief of menstrual cramps (Photo: Andrea K: Flickr)

Yoni steaming is great for the relief of menstrual cramps (Photo: Andrea K: Flickr)

Alternatively, there is yoni (vaginal) steaming, a treatment I am proud to say was introduced to me by my mother after my daughter was born. Steaming also improves blood flow, thins mucus and cleans the entire reproductive system. It helps us to shed unnecessary membranes and disintegrate clots. Steaming is one way of cooperating with the body/vagina, resulting in minimal dread during periods and the general wellbeing of our ‘poons’.

Now, challenge yourself to a change of attitude. Given all the STDs that there are in the world and the countless external factors campaigning to make us insecure about our bodies, we deserve to drown out all the noise and focus on ourselves. We are worth the bounce in our step that comes from self-fulfillment, contentment and knowledge. We were created as we are for a reason and there is no shame in any aspect of ourselves, least of all our anatomy. There is probably nothing more dignified than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, carries her femininity like a symbol of royalty and religiously takes care of herself and others.

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